Don’t eat this ever!!!!

Ok here is the story…I woke up yesterday morning and got ready for work. I normally make my breakfast and my lunch while I am cooking breakfast. Well this morning I wanted to do some work on my FACEBOOK site. So I made myself some coffee and my half whole wheat muffin and went to work on the computer. Well you know the old saying time flies when you’re having fun, well it did.

It was time to go to work and I had not made my lunch yet or packed my gym bag. Matt, Eric and I go to the gym on our lunch hour for a forty-five minute workout every day so I normally just bring one half whole wheat bread slice with ham are turkey (half a sandwich) to eat at my desk right after the workout (got to keep the blood sugar under control) well I ran into the kitchen cut my slice of bread in half and went to the refrigerator to get the sandwich meats…and to my dismay there weren’t any, no meat at all. Never fear tuna fish is here (I should have been a poet. Ha-ha) so I open the cabinet and nooooooo only large packets of tuna (to much for a half sandwich and not enough time to make tuna salad)...And then I saw it,

sitting all alone on the back shelf a small can of tuna “Bumble Bee Sensations” it was called, it was one of those tuna, crackers and spoon kits, you know the all in one packs…but this one had a twits…it was seasoned with SPICY THAI CHILI a tuna medley it said. So my plan, carry it to work trash the crackers and put the tuna on my half slice of wheat bread. Got to work, went to the gym, and got back to the office ready to eat, time to make my half sandwich. As soon as I popped the top on the tuna can I knew I was in trouble, first the tuna was red (blood red)

then there was a hot pepper lying on the top of the tuna (at first I thought it was red worm)

I wish I had taken a photo of it. Anyway looks can be deceiving so I decided to give it a try…well my friends sometimes looks tell the whole story…this stuff was hideous, revolting, repulsive, dreadful…I hope you get my point. NOT GOOD!!!!!! But I decided to man up and give this stuff a try, so I pulled out the little spoon and scooped about half of this CRAP (excuse my French) and spread it on my bread, I went back for the second scoop and that’s when I found it, a whole fish fin,

this fin was about a half inch long…..that were I had to draw the line (I almost gag now just thinking about it) did I mention this stuff was GROSS!!! Anyway I realized this was all I had for lunch so I did the unthinkable and ate the half sandwich with the one scoop on it (not the scoop with the fin, it remained in the can), the whole time all I could think of was the line from the movie Dumb and Dumber…”Go to a Happy Place, Go to a Happy Place”

that I repeated over and over in my head while I was eating it. Well I survived this tuna nightmare…and I guess I’m a better man for it. Happy New Year everyone, from the compound!!! Just stay away from the spicy tuna!!!

Note to self: No more spicy tuna (unless it’s at a Sushi Bar), stick to the

real thing.

Christmas time at the compound.

I sure racked up this year, mostly motorcycle stuff…well that is the topic for today anyway. Lets start with the little things, I got a chopper calendar for my office at work, a J&P Cycle t-shirt, a book on great motorcycle rides of the south(I’ll be doing a book review on it later). The next three thing were items I needed for riding the bike in cold weather, the first was a skull face mask (keeps the cold air off of your face while riding at high speeds) the second was a leather jacket (very pricy) with a removable liner and zippers all over the place to let cool air in once it starts getting warmer (a true motorcycle jacket). And third but not least a pair of gloves, funny story behind the gloves, so here goes…first off they were the last present I un-wrapped I was scared I was not going to get them, and trust me I needed them very bad. When I went to Thunder on the Beach Motorcycle Rally at Panama City beach Florida during the late summer I decided to drive home at night so I stopped at a gas station and bought a pair of gloves,

I think the price was 1.98 cents they were a little small on me (everything always is) but they did their job and kept my hands warm in the 65 degree weather (65 is kind of cold when you are doing 75 mph at night) so here is the funny part, I have been wearing them up to this date, even when it dropped to 28 degrees. I only work about 10 miles from my house but use the hwy to get there, so 28 degrees turns into some thing like ZERO at 60mph. by the time I would get half way my fingers would feel like they were going to fall off and I’m sure once I reached the office I had some kind of frost bite (ok maybe not frost bite but very cold hands) it was only a few months before Christmas so I thought I cold hold out. Everyday I drove my bike to work my hands got colder and colder, so I came up with the bright idea of wearing two pairs of cheap gloves, so I looked around the house one morning and found a very old and very dirty pair of BellSouth leather gloves

that were smaller than the first cheap pair I bought. So I first put on my cloth cheap gloves then would try to cram my hand and glove (and image of O J on the stand comes to mind)

into the cheap leather glove, I’d get them on but they did not even cover my wrists, so when I drove cold air would blow right up my jacket sleeve and turn my wrist watch into a frozen ban of metal around my arm.

It only took me a few trips to realize I needed to take my watch off and put it in my pocket before I started the ride. This went on morning after morning until now!!! I’d like to enter duce to you the Tourmaster Winter Elite size two extra large,

wow now that is a warm glove I drove to work this morning and never even began to get cold fingers, they even have a shield wipe built into the thumb(great on rainy days). Thanks mom and dad you just may have saved your sons life, well at least his fingers. Ha-ha.

(below) cheap gloves left tourmaster on the right

More on the jacket and face cover on a later post. Photo below is my daughter Allison modeling the jacket, face mask and gloves Christmas morning. Scary!! Scary!!!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone from the guys at the Hattiesburg office…ok I admit it, the guys may not have know they were going to wish you a Merry Christmas, but that’s what happens when I get a digital photo of you…it shows up in the strangest places…ha-ha.

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/QitaelXVh3caGvaxTKjf


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
Sorry boss I can’t help myself, this is the last e-mail of the year…I promise :)
Allen

BLONDE JOKE!!!!

The WalMart Cat

A BLONDE was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WALMART!

Why WALMART???

HELLOOOOOOOOO! ? WALMART is the largest RETAILER in the world!!!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Thanks for the e-mail Carolyn

So you think your boss is a bear…try this job out in Alaska for awhile, I bet you will change your mind!!!

Job Position
Cares project, Alaska?

Position: Surveyor
Salary: $200 per hour (tax-free)
Qualification: Must be fast on your feet.

Any time you think you have it bad at your job and your boss is being kind of a bear….it could be worse, you could work in Alaska.

(Below) This one is my personal favorite.

Isn't it comforting to know that when you are about to become a bear's breakfast your buddy is standing there taking photos? This is a guy thing, you ladies just would not understand, I would have taken the photos too. Ha-ha.

Matt, thanks for the e-mail.

Breaking the law, breaking the law

What can I say…? I’m married to an outlaw. My wife and her heavy foot got caught speeding again!!!! But here is the kicker; she got out of it, again. I say again because she always gets out of the tickets…she never has to pay…ever!!!

At least this time she got a courtesy citation (that will teach her, yea right)

Guys you know what I’m talking about, let’s just imagine what would happen if we got pulled over doing 51mph in a 35mph zone.

Well that might be a little harsh…but you get the idea. Ha-ha

I guess that’s the price you pay for being married to a beautiful woman, no speeding tickets and cheap auto insurance…hmmmm maybe that’s not a bad thing. Ha-ha.

Happy birthday….Aunt Shirley!!!

After my day of total power at work (the boss was gone and I was left in charge 12/12/2008 the office may never be the same. Ha-ha), the family got together for a surprise birthday party for my little Aunt Shirley. The plan…Have a surprise party at The Bottling Company Friday night at 5:30pm, with the surprise-eee to show up at 6:00p

The Bottling Company (SORRY, IT WAS DARK WHEN I TOOK THE PHOTO)

The family started to show up all bearing gifts, some store bought and others made with love.

The crew started to grow AND GROW!!!

Then we got the notice…the surprise-eee was in the building, it went off like a charm, we scared the crap out of them (I said them, because we did not let her husband Wayne in on it…he would have squealed, sorry Wayne. Shirley, cried like a baby, truth is she was crying due to long flight of stairs she had to climb, but it sounds better if we think it was due to the surprise.

There were many hugs and kisses everywhere...it was like a real love fest.

i

I wish I knew how old my Aunt Shirley is….if I only had a clue…

I wonder what happen to all those cupcakes…the kids said they had not seen them…hmmm???

Another nice touch…all through out the party, photos were playing on the big screen TV of friends and family.

Speaking of nice touches…Chad and his wife Heather gave a hand written poem describing the life and times of my little Aunt Shirley, then to top it off Heather read it to everyone at the party, a real tear jerker, great job Heather, great job.

Then it was time to get this party started...BREAK OUT THE BOOZE!!!!

No booze for me, THANK YOU...I'm drinking for two!!!

Then there were the ones who said they were drinking rootbeer but their face tells a different story...

The party turned out to be a great success, good times for all…HAPPY BIRTHDAY Shirley!!!
Don’t WORRY, we will be back at The Bottling Company Thursday next week for the Bagget’s annual Christmas party, and yea I’ll be reporting on that too. THE END.