and I have my fear of spiders…it’s the damnest thing snake,
cockroaches;
I’ll eat them for breakfast but a SPIDER!!!!
Well it seems to me they are out to get me in the last couple of days. Here is my new spider story. Ha-ha.
Let me start off by saying my dad and I went fishing again last Saturday (we caught a boat load of bass and brim this time, I might add) I decided to even up my tan by wearing a sleeveless shirt. Well it worked, but my upper arms and shoulders got sunburned. I know, I know what does this have to do with a spider. Well Sunday night I was helping the family put a puzzle together, when all of a sudden I feel something crawling up my arm to my neck. I looked and yep you guessed it one big ass SPIDER.
Well I slapped at it with my right hand (I guess I don’t know my own strength) I flattened it like a pancake, but in the process, I slapped the crap out of my sunburn armed. Ouchhhh!!! That hurt…but the big attack came the very next day.
Spider attack day two; I went to work Monday morning like a good boy and made it all the way to lunch without an attack. Then it happened; I was on my way home for lunch and I stopped off at the gas station to get some gas. I pumped my gas and got back into the truck; then it happened. I felt something crawling up my right arm this time, so I took a look…another big ASS SPIDER!!! About an inch from my face, this time I recognized the beast as a daddy long leg spider.
Normally I can tolerate these spiders (I remember playing with them as a kid) but something snapped in me and I gave the spider a mighty swipe with my hand. Then came the bad news…the spider was gone but no where to be found. I searched for a few seconds with no luck…I assumed I desintegrated it…WRONG!!! Just as I was putting my truck in gear I felt something on my left shoulder…Damn!!! The Monster was back,
so again I gave the spider a mighty swipe this time with enough force to kill a small elephant and this time I do believe I squealed like a little girl. Again no spider to be found, but this time as I looked up what do I see…a spider…NO!!! THIS TIME MUCH WORSE…two young girls in the car next to me having the laugh of their life time while looking at me flailing around in the truck trying to get the spider. So I did what any man would do…I tried to look cool as I drove away from the gas station. (It did not work, I looked like a dork…I’m sure. Ha-ha)
Well I did make it home, made a sandwich sat down in front of the TV to eat…and the damnest thing happened…I felt something crawling up my left shoulder again…it was the same monster zombie spider
from the gas station here to suck my blood or eat my face. Well all I can say is I’m glad there was no one around to see the fight between me and the mighty spider…oh just so you will know… I kicked that spider's ass that time.
Not really sure why I shared this story with you…I guess I just found it funny. Well funny now…not very funny at the time…unless you were the girls in the car next to me…they found it hilarious…
BIG AL
