PETAL HIGH SCHOOL BEAUTY/BEAU PAGEANT

PHS HOSA PRESENTS-AUTUMN IN THE PARK

43 girls and 10 boys competing for 1st place

This was my baby girls, Allison, first beauty contest. Even though she did not take first place, she will always be #1 in her mothers' and my eyes every time.

Even her little brother Myles had to admit he has a beautiful sister. All the girls looked wonderful but of course, my baby stole the show.

After all the girls were introduced, while the judges were tallying the scores the guys put on several skits it was called the “beau show” I laughed until my side hurt.

Then the band “drum division” came out and played a song or two.

Then it was time for the winners, our little neighbor and Allison’s best friend,Savannah Holsomback # 41,came it third, in my opinion she had the best stage presence of them all, wow she did an excellent job.

First place went to Hannah Walker # 1, and for the guys Justin Yawn.

Let’s hear it for them all, everyone did a great job.
And yes my baby plans to enter next year, so everyone needs to watch out. Ha-ha
THE END

Blonde joke of the day!!!

Another e-mail sent to me by my good buddy Carolyn.

Blonde in the Everglades

A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!'
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, 'Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?'

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, 'CRAP! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!'

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.

I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5' long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

I'm sitting there a lone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . .. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an atempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

SON-OF-A-BITCH, THAT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocaine, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling. Apparrently I shit myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!

P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

'If you think Education is difficult, try being stupid Ricky P. Chuter

Thanks Libby for the email

Two new things worth talking about…

First a good buddy of mine, Mr. Mike Ainsworth sent me an e-mail a few days ago and I wanted to share it with my readers. Here’s a little background on Mike, he use to work here at the great empire, they call AT&T. He was an engineer (and still is) like me that was working through a contractor firm but still in the same office. I first met mike during the after mat of Katrina, he was sent to our office to design the new cable routes after the storm, and proved to be an excellent engineer and was asked by the company to stay on…so he did. We became great friends; he would stop my desk in the mornings and tell me stories about Alaska, a state where he had worked before, and you cold tell wanted to move to again. Mike lived about an hour away from our office; on I think it was 250 acres, he was living my dream of mine, a lot of land in the country. I have to admit I was secretly plotting to do him in and take his land…but there was just on problem…he is just to dam BIG, I’m 6’5” and I was always looking up at him every time we spoke. (Just kidding Mike) well Mike got his wish and there was a job opening in Alaska (paying big bucks) and just like that, my buddy was gone...sniff…sniff. I sent him a few e-mails and never go much response...until now. This one had photos and everything, so I decided to share it with my readers…photos first.

Now I copied and pasted the email below, so not to miss anything

“Medium sized.”

A man of few words…ha-ha. Well good luck to you buddy…maybe next time let me know what part of Alaska your in, and don’t worry about your land, it will still be there when you get back, unless you want to give it to me…I’m am looking for land myself.

Gun and reel sportsman’s club

This is a hunting camp I have been trying to get into for a little of a year now...My boy has turned 11 now and he has expressed an interest in going hunting. So I decided to try and join a hunting club, I found out about this one from my dad, and we went to sign up last year but it was full, they only take in a new member once someone drops out, I was given the number 10, so 10 hunters had to drop their membership this year for me to get in, I received a letter about a month ago to come to the camp Thursday November 6, 2008 at 6:00pm if I was interested, so my son and I made plans to attend. Well the date arrived and it was time to go, to my surprise my wife want to go and check out the club and my boy decided to stay home and play with his buddies. We left the house at 5 because we had to go to the bank and get money to join, it’s about a 40 minute drive to the club, and so we had plenty of time…I thought.

Just as we left the bank, we got a phone call from my wife’s parents,

telling us they had broken down and could we come get them...oh no!!! I have to admit for a brief second I had a little devil and angle popping up on my shoulder fighting over rater to leave them are pick them up and give them a ride…the angle won!!

Are it might have been my wife sitting beside me saying “you better not even think about it!!!”

So a change in direction and we were off to get her parents, here is the reason this was a bad thing…the hunting club only takes in new members once a year, and it is done on a number system, as I said before I was number 10 this year and there were right at fifty people wanting to join, so the way it works is at six o’clock they call out a name starting at number one, if they are not there they go to number two and so on. If you get skipped you have to wait on all fifty new members to be call out before they get back to you. I think this year there was around 25 openings, so you do not want to miss the calling of your name. Once we picked up here parents we informed them they would have to ride to the camp with us…they were trooper about it and we made it with two minutes to spare.
Funny thing, I was the first one signed up 1-9 either were no show are missed their names.

I know very little about the camp and plan on riding up this Saturday and go looking around and try and find a spot to kill bambi,

ha-ha truth is I care very little about hunting, and plan on using the place just to shoot guns, go fishing, camping, and introduce my boy to the wild and let him make his own choice if he want to become a hunter are not.

The conclusion of the Diabetes update!!!

November 5, 2008
Truth is this post was to be going on for a full two weeks….well, I’m bored out of my mind keeping up on this blog about everything I eat everyday, time to move on to something else. Don’t worry I’m not stopping my diet and I will give updates from time to time, I have learned I can maintain a good sugar level with just my diet no medication. Just for information on the 4th my weight was 258 lb and my blood sugar was 105 in the morning and 82 at night, this morning my weight was 257 lb and my blood sugar was 98. Today I decided to start adding fish back into my diet (tuna…mmmm good) ok my wife ordered me to start eating fish again, something she read in the paper about lowering blood sugar. Ha-ha. I guess I won’t know for sure how well I’m doing until I go back to the doctor for a checkup somewhere around mid January 2009.

Diabetes update!!! DAY ONE, TWO,THREE

Went to the doctor for my three month blood work and check up to see how well I have been doing. Great news every thing seems to be under control, by blood sugar averaged 104 (70 is low, over 120 is high) my triglycerides went from 1200 to 102 (normal) blood pressure went from high to….yep you guessed it normal (sorry I can’t remember the numbers) body weight went from 310 lb to 264 lb.

Medication?? I have been taking two pills one is Janumet 50-500 mg for the diabetes and Tricor 145 mg for the triglycerides. I have not seen any real side affects from the drugs except for the drain on my pocket book, both cost around 90 dollars each a month (ouch!!!) I talked to the doctor about getting off the drugs, and he said I should stay on them for at least 90 more days until my next check up…hmm, well it just so happen I ran out of both pills a few days after the doctor visit, so I decided to try a little experiment, using my body as a test subject.

The experiment, I going to try and go two weeks with no medication and see what happens to my blood sugar. I plan on tighten up and already good diet, to a near perfect diet, I rather be on a more strict diet than have to take pills, I hate taking any kind of drugs…its just something I don’t feel good about, but I will if my blood sugar starts to rise. Even on the medication this month my blood sugar has moved up a little to an average of 107, I think this is due to slacking up on the diet a little.

The GYM, I have been back in the gym for around a month now, lifting 5 days a week on my lunch hour, this takes a little getting use to, this only gives me about 45 minutes per workout, I use to workout around a hour and half everyday so I’m having to pick up the pace, to get in and out on a lunch hour. I lift alone due to time but I go to the gym with by two buddies from work Matt (the hammer) Roland and Eric (mad man) Taylor, both are really getting into lifting…I think I have them hooked. Ha-ha.

The FOOD, I started my experiment Friday October 31, 2008 (Halloween…biggest sugar day of all…there is candy everywhere around here) the plan, I’m going to post everything I eat each day (good and bad) and post a photo. I’m not going to worry to much about the fat content as I will be eating a lot of nuts and peanut butter that are loaded in fat but in my eyes and most nutritionist, good fat, these foods also help me get the protein I need to build muscle that in return burns fat.

October 31, 2008

Woke up at 4:20am, got ready for work around 5:30am I took my blood sugar 150 (what the heck!!!) this is the second highest I’ve had in 3 months. The good news is I know what caused it, the night before I ate a 6 inch subway ham and cheese on wheat bread, I’m not sure what my daughter had put on it and I’m sure that is what made my blood sugar go up.
Time for breakfast, I eat almost the same thing every morning, with one exception this time, I am out of pepper jack cheese and I had to use a slice of American cheese (not my favorite , I like the harder cheese)

DAY ONE…OCTOBER 31,2008

Bodyweight 264 lb

5:30 am...Two cups of coffee with 2 sweet n low and creamer…half of a whole wheat bagel, with a slice of America cheese.

10:00am…One stalk of celery with one tea spoon of peanut butter, two cups of water

11:30am…gym, worked biceps and forearms

1:00pm…one cup of grilled chicken, peppers, onions and a squash, seasoned with tony seasoning, two cups of water.

3:00pm… One stalk of celery with one tea spoon of peanut butter and one boiled egg, two cups of water.

5:00pm… cup of grilled chicken, peppers, onions and a squash, seasoned with tony seasoning, cup of diet coke.

6:50pm…Blood sugar…97

7:00pm…snack, half a bag of pop corn with just salt, cup of diet coke.

Done that was the last meal of the night, and yea I know what you are thinking…but not one piece of Halloween candy went into my mouth. Ha-ha.

DAY TWO…November 01, 2008

Bodyweight 262 lb

7:50am…blood sugar-88

8:00am… Two cups of coffee with 2 sweet n low and creamer…half of a whole wheat bagel, with a slice of America cheese.

11:00am…two boiled eggs, cup of water.

2:00pm…one half of a McDonald’s grilled chicken salad with one serving of Kraft free thousand island dressing, topped off with one boiled egg. One cup of diet coke.

5:00am…I went to the grocery store (yea, I do a lot of shopping around here) on the way out I ate a Slim Jim (beef and cheese stick)

6:00pm…the wife and I just were not hungry, so we split a bag of popcorn
Done, no more food that night.

9:00pm…blood sugar-104

DAY THREE…November 2, 2008

Bodyweight…258 lb

6:50am…Blood sugar…98

7:00am…Two cups of coffee with 2 sweet n low and creamer…half of a whole wheat bagel, with a half of slice of pepper jack cheese and two scrambled eggs.

10:30am…handful of walnuts

1:00pm…one half of a Macalister grilled chicken salad and a small diet coke.

3:30pm…the other half of a Macalister grilled chicken salad and a small diet sprite.

6:00pm…another handful of walnuts and two cups of coffee, with cream and sweet n low.

Done eating for the night.

7:00pm…blood sugar…149 Wow!! I was not expecting that, but I think I know what may have happen. The salad I ate, I order a fat free dressing, but I told my wife while I was eating it that it tasted very good…maybe to good…I wonder if the restaurant messed up the order and gave me the regular dressing. Tomorrow is Monday and I plan on only eating things I know for sure are sugar free.

PAINTED TRUCKS

Here are 7 pictures of (European) semi-trucks whose trailers are decorated to look like the sides are missing and the products they are hauling are painted on the sides and back.

The first one is of a bottle of beer and looks so real, like it is coming out the side of the trailer.

The second is of canvas tote bag.

The third is of Pepsi cases and they are all stacked on the ceiling, and the bottom of the trailer is empty.

The fourth is of another truck with the windshield facing the back and there has been a driver painted in the driver's seat looking back over his shoulder to appear like he is driving backwards.

The fifth one is of an aquarium with fish swimming in it.

The sixth one is of a bookshelf with books lined up in it and a post-it-note with an advertisement on it, probably for the company that sells the books (Again, in a foreign language)

The last one is for Pr ingles-Hot & Spicy. The 'inside' of the trailer has the appearance of having been through a fire.

THANKS FOR THE E-MAIL CAROLYN